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drug test the president

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Due to recent statements coming from the White House and DoD, it has become overwhelmingly obvious that whoever is responsible for drug testing high-level members of our government has been on an extended vacation. Or perhaps they are just too high to do their job properly. Do we even drug test the president?

Not that I am even wholly against the recreational usage of certain illegal substances. It's just that when people begin ranting about things that make no sense, and become excessively paranoid over the possible actions of others, they have crossed the line from recreational use, into having a serious substance problem. Which wouldn't really bother me too much, outside my desire to aide a fellow human being who needs help, were these people not sitting at the head of the free world.

Approximately twelve years ago, a young college student wrote a thesis on Iraq's weapons capability.  Apparently when Colin Powell came across this information, he found it so frightening (paranoia) he just had to alert the UN Security Council. While doing so he completely forgot (another sign of excessive drug usage) to inform the Council that when America was bombing Iraqi hospitals and water systems, we accidentally hit a few of their weapons facilities, and some military vehicles, which makes that thesis a bit too outdated.

Let's not forget to mention the mass hallucination of our intelligence agencies. In the same report to the Security Council, Powell showed a satellite photo of an 'illegal weapon site.' It was a bakery. I repeat, a bakery. I have seen walls breathe, but never in my life have I seen a bakery become a chemical weapons factory. These government guys must get the good stuff.

Anyone who has ever used large amounts of hallucinogenic drugs knows that while 'tripping' one often makes subtle connections between things that they otherwise never would have noticed. Upon coming down and readjusting to reality, they find that on many occasions, those connections do not actually exist in the real world. Apparently our government officials are using methamphetamines, or similar drugs that can keep one 'out there' for days and days at a time.

Supposedly, they say, Saddam Hussein actively supports Al-Qaeda. Hmmm. So, in other words, even though Saddam has had constant problems with militant Muslims in his country, even though bin Laden wants Iraq to overthrow him and his secular government, Saddam loves militant Muslims. In fact he likes them so much he gave them weapons. Which means, ladies and gentlemen, we are supposed to believe Saddam Hussein is arming people who want him dead. Am I the only one having trouble following this logic? The only connection I see here is the White House's desire for Americans to want Saddam dead as much as they do bin Laden.

Then there is the paranoid delusion that Iraq may attack his neighbors. Although the countries surrounding Iraq all think such a concept is a joke, due the fact that American and British forces have been bombing Iraq for twelve years straight, leaving him with very little to attack and maintain any realistic war with. If the next-door neighbors aren't worried, why are our leaders, thousands of miles away, so scared? Perhaps they completely forgot (again, not unlikely in their 'condition') about our decimation and continued destruction of the Iraqi military.

Lastly, and possibly the most evident sign of drug use, is how they apparently keep forgetting there is oil in Iraq. Contrary to popular belief, our current ruling administration does not represent the oil industry; our administration IS the American oil industry. Yet asked about oil, they all go blank. 'Oil, what oil? In Iraq? Are you sure?' They also have no recollection of all the other natural gasses, fresh water, and the militarily strategic importance of Iraq. It's a humanitarian mission, to liberate the Iraqi people by shooting a couple hundred missiles a day at them. Oh, that and Iraq, unlike every other nation on earth, ignored a UN resolution.

I'm not writing this in order to poke fun at American government officials (well not entirely anyway). These people are obviously on one hell of a bad trip. Everywhere they look, all they see are things we should fear, and everyone they look at mutates into Adolph Hitler. They need intervention before they hurt themselves, or more likely, the entire rest of the planet.